Balancing Corporate & Homesteading Lifestyles
In The Darkness (A Short Story)
The moment Gary tippy-toed outside of his home, he just knew it was going to be a terrible day.
But Gary found out something surprising and rather embarrassing...
Gary stepped outside and knew at once that it was going to be one of those terrible days. Everything was dark and gloomy, like a thunderstorm was only moments away. But it was strange – the weatherman had said the day would be sunny.
Gary continued on to his favorite coffee shop. Inside the coffee shop, the lights were dim, as if some bulbs had burned out.
He thought, “What kind of lousy restaurant doesn’t change the light bulbs when they go out?”
Gary sat down and looked at the menu, but the dim lighting was making him more and more depressed. When the waitress came by to take his order, Gary ordered his food, but he stopped her as she started to walk back to the kitchen.
“Why don’t you guys fix some of these light bulbs? It’s so dark in here. Do you think your customers like to eat in the dark?” Gary, whose mood had gotten progressively worse since he left the house, spoke angrily and a little too loudly.
“But sir,” the waitress said, looking confused, “No bulbs are burned out here. You’re wearing sunglasses.”
Gary pulled his glasses off. It was true! He had grabbed the wrong glasses out of his dresser drawer. He apologized to her and made sure to leave a big tip.
What an eye opener! Isn’t it true that the fault we find in the world around us can often be traced back to what’s inside ourselves? It’s so easy to project our problems onto others when taking ownership of the issues would help us solve them much more quickly.
How often do we try to make a spouse or a roommate change behaviors, to no avail? We all know we can’t change others! We can encourage and persuade, but we can’t make people do anything they don’t decide for themselves to do.
Knowing what's true, we ought to be able to see how counterproductive it is to get irritated by things going on around us. We automatically think those problems are someone else’s responsibility when we already have the power to stop the irritation!
Just like Gary in the story, when we think problems belong to someone else, we spend a lot of time grumbling and complaining that those people won’t fix their issues. We go around in a dark mood and make things miserable for those around us.
Now contrast that unhappy picture with a person who takes responsibility for his own unhappiness. When things aren’t going well, he’ll stop and think about his own attitude and actions. “What is my perspective on this and in what way am I contributing to the problem?” a wiser person might ask.
Blaming others keeps us from finding the root of issues and solving difficulties. Taking responsibility and examining our weaknesses, mistakes or contributions to the problem allow us to take positive action toward improvements.
Self-reflection lets us take off the sunglasses and put on the clear lenses. Maybe there are still a few bulbs in the restaurant that need to be changed, but we’ve done everything we can do to improve the situation on our own.
Sometimes everything we can do is a whole lot, and sometimes it’s not so much. But taking ownership and moving forward always makes us happier than blaming others and waiting for them to change. Automatically blaming others is a recipe for frustration!
Self-reflection Questions:
1. Are there issues in my life where I’m blaming others for things not going well?
2. What am I doing that could be contributing to the problem?
3. Is my perspective causing my own unhappiness?
